Sexual Assault

What Is Sexual Assault?

Unfortunately, non-consensual sexual contact occurs all too frequently during the college years. Sexual assault can happen to people of any gender; however, over 90% of people who are sexually assaulted are female. Statistics suggest that one in eight college women have been sexually assaulted. It is difficult to determine the actual incidence with certainty because most women do not report what happened to campus security, school administrators, or police — and many never tell anyone about the assault, leaving them to cope with the emotional consequences alone. Avoiding seeking help limits recovery and healing from the trauma of a sexual assault.

Acquaintance or date rape, in which a woman is assaulted by someone known to her, is by far the most common kind of sexual assault. It is estimated that 85% of women who have been sexually assaulted know their assailant. Substance use, especially alcohol, often plays a role in sexual assault — estimates are that three out of four men who assault a woman and one in four women who are assaulted were drinking or using drugs at the time of the assault. Sexual assault may also result from an assailant taking advantage of a woman’s diminished capacity to set limits or protect herself when she has been drinking.

There are some men who purposefully intend to assault women who are in vulnerable situations. However, many men who commit sexual assault do not see their actions as wrong and do not think they have caused harm or injury. A man may be encouraged by a social environment in which men are supposed to “score.” He may think women need to be persuaded to have sex, or believe that body language gave him the green light. For a woman who has been sexually assaulted, these kinds of justifications can be confusing and difficult to reconcile with her own experience of violation, betrayal, and serious emotional and physical pain. To recover, she must recognize that situational circumstances — being drunk, going off alone, having had previous consensual sex with him — do not mean she asked for or deserved to be sexually assaulted.

Emotional Consequences of Sexual Assault

Women who have been sexually assaulted typically experience symptoms of emotional trauma. Each woman’s response will differ depending on individual circumstances, prior history of sexual assault or other types of trauma, and her typical style of coping. The following emotional consequences are common, and are expected reactions to a traumatic event.

Shock or Numbness

After being sexually assaulted, many women initially experience emotional shock and numbness. Common reactions include feeling emotionally detached, confused, and in a state of disbelief. A woman is likely to feel that something very wrong has happened but does not yet know how to understand or make sense of what occurred. It is also common to experience difficulty keeping track of time, making it to class, and keeping appointments.

Fear and Anxiety

Feelings of fear and anxiety typically occur after a sexual assault. A woman who is sexually assaulted may fear encountering her assailant and may experience intense distress at reminders of the assault. She may also have more general fears, such as fearing men, being afraid of being alone, or just feeling afraid much of the time without obvious cause. It is also common to feel keyed up and nervous, to experience panic attacks, or to be unable to sit through class or interact with others.

Reliving the Memory of What Happened

A woman who has been sexually assaulted typically relives the event in some way. She may feel upset and distressed in an ongoing way, experience nightmares or “flashbacks,” or have unexpected, intrusive thoughts or feelings about the assault.

Minimizing or Not Believing What Happened

A woman who is sexually assaulted may want to just forget what happened and may avoid thinking about it. She may be reluctant to label the experience as an assault or rape. She may insist she’s fine. Abuse of alcohol or drugs may result from trying to forget. A woman who has been sexually assaulted often fears not being believed, and is likely to avoid going to friends and family who could provide support.

Self-Blame and Guilt

Many women who have been sexually assaulted feel that they are to blame for what happened. Self-reproach about incidents leading up to the assault, or not doing enough to prevent it, is common. It is important to recognize that freezing or emotionally shutting down during a sexual assault is a common way the mind deals with serious threat. It is important to remember that she is not responsible for his actions.

Shame

Many women who have been sexually assaulted feel deeply ashamed. This shame contributes to feeling isolated and different from others. It is common to feel degraded or damaged, and these feelings may translate into a sense of being “dirty” or “ugly.” Many women want to shower or bathe immediately after the assault.

Depression

A woman who has been sexually assaulted may struggle with symptoms of depression, including sleep problems, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating.

Loss of Trust and Relationship Difficulties

A woman who has been sexually assaulted often loses her natural ability to trust and rely on others. She may also lose faith in her own ability to accurately judge the character and trustworthiness of others. Isolation, withdrawal, and interpersonal conflicts in friendships and family relationships are also common after sexual assault.

Anger

Women who are sexually assaulted may feel angry. Anger may be directed toward the assailant, themselves, the assault itself, or the way others reacted. Anger may also generalize to daily irritations in life that ordinarily would be experienced as minor.

A Sense of Loss of Control

A woman who has been sexually assaulted is likely to feel that her personal control over her life and her privacy has been taken away from her. She may feel powerless and helpless as a result of the assault.

Academic Difficulty and Disorganization

College women who have been sexually assaulted may have academic difficulty due to missing classes, deadlines, and appointments. Confusion, sleeplessness, depression, anxiety, and withdrawal can lead to academic crisis.

Physical Problems

Emotional consequences of the assault may emerge as physical symptoms, such as stomach distress, headaches, or muscle tension.

What to Do If You Have Been Sexually Assaulted

If you have been sexually assaulted, it is important to get yourself to a safe place. Remember, you are not to blame. Consider telling someone you trust who can give you comfort and emotional support, and try not to isolate yourself. Remember that any staff or faculty member in the Batten University community can help you get the assistance you need. The most important thing is to ask for and get help.

In addition, Batten University has contracted with YWCA Sexual Assault Support Services to provide immediate help for anyone who has been assaulted. They can be reached through their 24-hour hotline at 757-226-9922. YWCA Sexual Assault Support Services workers are available to provide whatever amount of help you feel comfortable accepting, from offering support or advice over the phone to actually accompanying you to the Emergency Room. Seeking medical attention to address the possibility of injury, pregnancy, or sexually transmitted disease is strongly encouraged. Although it may go against your instincts, it is best to initially not shower or discard clothes you were wearing, as this limits your ability to take legal action if you decide to do so.

The counselors from YWCA Sexual Assault Support Services or staff from Counseling Services can help give you confidential guidance and support. Your appointments are confidential, and you are not required to report the assault as a result of seeking counseling. Your counselor will help you talk about and manage your feelings, and is also available to help you consider your options and decide what will be most conducive to your healing.

Counseling Services

Counseling Services is also available to help if your assault occurred in the past. It is not too late to seek help for a sexual assault, even if it happened a long time ago. If you have any questions regarding the information on this page, please don’t hesitate to contact one of the counselors.

Michelle De Rosa can be reached at 757.455.3131 and Sarah Morris can be reached at 757.455.5730.

Please note: Ideas and information on this page were adapted from the Villanova University website.